before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
