dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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