I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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