i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We need a shit load of segways right now
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
