There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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