You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
