soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
