Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
