Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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