Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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