Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
