Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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