Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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