Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
