Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
