It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
