Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
