Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
