is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
