dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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