So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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