maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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