ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
