So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
