it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
