My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So much Jack, so little girl.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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