.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
as a side note pls kill me
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
