If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
