Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
