I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
