found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
