you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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