So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
