would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
