WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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