bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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