It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
