the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
