I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
