Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
