You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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