I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
