Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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