i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
