I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
