I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
