Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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