Screwed.edu
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
