Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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