Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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