just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
