her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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